my sex life
funny story from the weekend.. .
i've been hanging out with this girl for the past couple weeks -- its an awesome setup -- we both go to the same bar (im pretty sure she goes 5-7 nights a week, i just go 1-2 nights per week) -- it works out well, i show up around midnight, talk to my real friends and to my bar friends, then we walk back to one of our apartments (the beauty of the setup is that we both live a block from each other and we live 3 blocks from the bar)
so saturday i walk in, order my 2 (sorry everyone) coors lights (so good) and sit down for some post work socializing (i wait tables sat/sun night) we head back to her place around 2am and just when it starts getting fun (2:07) and she mentions shes on Day 3 (ask your sex ed teacher)
nowwww -- ive been in some Day 3 situations before -- normally its just -- you know -- whatever. its dark, i say i dont care (still dont, whatever, no big deal) my hands start roaming and i realize she is more moist (gross word to describe wet vag) then normal...
in the morning we wake up, she goes to the bathroom and i realize the white sheets are covered in blood -- like mega blood -- oh yeah, at this point i check my fingers, theres dried blood in my finger nail cracks/cuticles -- there is no justice to discribe the awesome amount of blood on these sheets -- then we went to brunch, had an appropiate bloody mary (too soon for jokes?) and i went home and slept until it was time to go back to work
lifes fun...
That's pretty gross. I don't know how you could possibly have a bloody mary after that.
i ordered a water, OJ and a bloody mary, before we went to brunch, i had two extra strength tylonols -- there was nothing i could do to get the hangover to go away
lol I'm sitting in a towel with a bloodstain on it, I'm over it.
I got a lapdance one time, and she put a towel on my lap beforehand. I was afraid to ask why.
Protip: Don't use tylenol when you've been/ will be drinking. That shit is terrible for your liver. Go with advil/ ibuprofen instead.
Also, ain't nothing wrong with earning your redwings, son.
Yeah dude. Bloody cock is totally metal. Good work my friend.
A girl from Switzerland once told me that every good sailor goes to the red sea.
Or, as the saying goes, the circus can't stop just because the monkey has a nose-bleed.
plus. orgasms help with cramps and stuff. i personally wouldn't be down to fuck at the peak of the crimson wave but if you dig it, it's cool.
whenever i have before -- its never been a big deal -- this time .. jesus -- it was everywhere
yeah, it's never been a big deal for me either, cuz I don't tend to bleed a lot. But I still always put a towel down first, just in case.
thats what a sane person would do
at least it was at her place on her sheets right!
Or, as the saying goes, the circus can't stop just because the monkey has a nose-bleed.
-nico
A girl from Switzerland once told me that every good sailor goes to the red sea.
-pixi
Every brave soldier has blood on his bayonet.
-nico
these three posts in series made me laugh so hard i almost let a little pee out
at least it was at her place on her sheets right!
-owneroperator
dude -- totally, and i even mentioned going back to my place
THANK GOD WE DIDNT!!!
at least it was at her place on her sheets right!
-owneroperator
yeah for real i've ridden the crimson tide on my own bed once. that shit doesn't come out. i tried everything.
whats great -- knowing this girl -- the sheets arent going to get washed anytime soon... i think thats a compliment
